It feels as if I had just arrived here, sweating from the
summer sun and wandering around Stellensbosch overwhelmed and almost getting
hit by speeding vehicles (ok so the last part still applies…I swear cars speed up when they see you
start to cross the street!). But the weather has definitely changed –instead of
tank tops and shorts, you can find me curled up with an extra blanket and a cup
of hot chocolate (in May?!).
As cliché as it sounds, the weather isn’t the only thing
that has changed. At the end of three challenging and inspiring months at
Lynedoch, I’ve definitely come to recognize a personal shift. Strangely enough I’m
even more confused –but I feel at least that I am closer to finding the right
track. I’ve I were to classify this semester, I would describe it as a
“process.” I struggled with challenges in community development work and while
LSCE has ended, I haven’t finished working out all the solutions –and I
probably won’t for a while yet. It is frustrating to “let it go” and “work
itself out” –these things are a bit counter-intuitive for a goal-oriented
person like myself. It’s frustrating when there aren’t deadlines for moments of
revelation; instead, these ‘ah-ha!’ moments surprise us with their timing. So,
as much as I would like for my reflections and lessons I’ve learned this
semester to be wrapped up in a tidy conclusion before I leave, I must
appreciate the fact that won’t –and can’t –happen because the learning
continues on.
In our final class at Lynedoch we talked about “life after
LSCE.” For me this means a variety of things. Over the next two weeks I will be
traveling throughout Southern Africa with wonderful people I had the fortunate
opportunity of meeting through LSCE (hint: get excited for some awesome pics
and one or two posts upon my return!). I look forward to soaking up every
possible moment of discovery and have resolved to go home with this same
attitude of wonder and gratitude for the small things that happen every day. Although
LSCE taught me how to work in a classroom and with a team, it has been
especially meaningful to me as an exercise in building relationships. Being in
a new environment, I have been removed from my usual responsibilities and
habits at home and have been able to practice spending more time engaging with
and learning from others. After reflecting on my many changed perspectives from
the beginning of the semester, I resolve to practice being more people-oriented
rather than strictly goal driven.
We also talked about future careers (talk about a full day’s
discussion!). Initially, I came here hoping that at the end of the semester, I
would have had worked out a plan. But like community work, I’m realizing that
results aren’t always immediate and instead it’s another layer of experience to
add to my overall learning. At this point, I’m not sure what my career path
will be, but I do know that I will experience more fullness and joy when
working directly with people. Thinking about life after LSCE, I am not worried
about deciding on a particular career path but instead recognizing that for me
it is about the particular spirit that I choose to adopt and apply to whatever
work I choose.
One of my biggest priorities after leaving Lynedoch is to
find some way to express the learning that I experienced to others –both
through challenges and accomplishments. This has undoubtedly been a time of
personal growth and I also want to share with others the same inspiration that
has come to motivate me these past few months. However, I’m a bit nervous I
won’t be able to express myself the way I want or in order to do this semester
justice –how can you possible sum up a 5 month experience?
I have busy plans for the upcoming summer months –spending
time with family and reconnecting with friends (not to mention refueling my
dwindling bank account!) but at the same time I look forward to the quiet
moments when I can sit alone and relive some of my favorite experiences.
I’ve had to start saying my goodbyes to the people and
places that I’ve come to know, love, and rely on this semester. As I went to
Hestea (with tears in my eyes), she looked at me and said, “I wouldn’t worry. I
know you’ll be back.” It’s as simple as that. I’ll be back.
She also gave me a quote by Eckhart Tolle that I will leave
with you: “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you
perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the
Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the
more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”